


The High School at the end of the Universe

by Stacy LA Stronach (slashgirl)



Category: Criminal Minds
Genre: Crack, High School, Multi
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2006-05-25
Updated: 2006-05-25
Packaged: 2017-10-10 21:43:48
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Underage
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,585
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/104625
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/slashgirl/pseuds/Stacy%20LA%20Stronach
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The BAU team if they'd gone to high school together.</p>
            </blockquote>





	The High School at the end of the Universe

**Author's Note:**

> Warnings (if any): Underage sexual contact (characters are between 14-18). If this is a problem, please don't read. Yeah. I find it hard to not have a little something-something in my fics.
> 
> High School at the End of the Universe…. The name was inspired by the Hitch Hiker's Guide to the Galaxy, with it's Restaurant at the End of the Universe. There's a very slight, tenuous connection to HHGTTG if you sort of squint. Besides, where else would all our BAU team members end up going to HS together?
> 
> Even though Reid is in grade 12, he's 14, not 12 as he was according to canon. I just…I'm a slasher, okay and Hotch/Reid and 12 would be…well, it'd be a little too creepy. Just saying. Hotch is 17. All the others are 17 or 18. Oh, yes and since this is an AU, Haley doesn't go to this HS. *Ignores canon gleefully*
> 
>  
> 
> wtf27 Prompt: 007 High School AU

Douglas Adams once wrote: "There is a theory which states that if ever anyone discovers exactly what the Universe is for and why it is here, it will instantly disappear and be replaced by something even more bizarre and inexplicable. There is another theory which states that this has already happened."

 

Spencer Reid can hear his friends, Aaron "Hotch" Hotchner and Jason Gideon, who prefers to just be called "Gideon", talking quietly. It is lunchtime at The High School at the End of the Universe and the three boys, along with their other friends, are eating lunch out on the grassy quad.

Derek Morgan and Penelope Garcia are sitting across from Reid. While they eat, Penny is showing Morgan something on her wireless laptop. Spencer still isn't sure if they're a couple or just "friends with benefits" or just friends. He's never had the nerve to ask and, in a way, figures it doesn't really matter. Most of the other kids at school think they're a couple and the two never really do anything to dispel the rumours.

Next to Spencer, sit Jennifer "JJ" Jareau and Elle Greenaway; he KNOWS they're a couple; neither girl hides it or denies the relationship. Right now, the two of them are discussing the get together their rag tag little group is having at JJ's on Friday night.

They are such a disparate group of people that Reid often wonders how they maintain their friendships. But he knows that it is pretty much Gideon's influence that brought them together and keeps them together.

Gideon is a collector, of sorts; only he collects people and not things. Once the seven of them were together, they seemed to fit like puzzle pieces, creating, thinks Spencer wryly, a very abstract design. Some of the kids in the other cliques refer to them as "The Group of Seven". Spencer wonders if any of them are aware that the "real" group of seven was a collection of Canadian artists. He figures they don't, public high school education being what it is.

Spencer lies back on the grass, closing his eyes and letting the sun warm his pale skin as he thinks about his friends. This is the first time he's ever really had friends in his school career. Given that he is a certified genius, with 187 IQ and is in Grade 12, all advanced courses, at the age of 14, he is definitely an oddball. That sort of uniqueness doesn't lend itself to easily making friends. He's also tall and skinny, having grown almost six inches in the last year and he is clumsy and unsure of himself.

He remembers the time, last fall, at the beginning of the school year, when he'd first hooked up with the rest of the Group of Seven.

_Spencer is new to the school but he's already been the target of teasing and taunting. He's tall, skinny and the only 13 year old in grade 10. This group of boys, there are four of them, seems to come out of nowhere. They surround him and are taunting him._

"Look at the genius boy, what a cute little purse you have," the leader, a tall, muscular boy says, grabbing at Reid's satchel.

"Looks like a faggot to me, real men don't carry purses," the second boy says. They start pushing him, and before long, Spencer trips, falling to the ground. The boys start to hit him, calling him names. Freak. Faggot. Queer. Bastard. Anything they can think of that will hurt him. The leader lifts his leg back, getting ready to kick Spencer when, suddenly, he's pulled backwards and drops to the ground.

"Leave him alone," says the new boy. Spencer is watching from where he's curled up on the ground, terrified and scared of what the boys will do to him. He's also wary of why this new boy is trying to help him.

"Oooh, it's Captain America! Come to save your little butt buddy?"

"Figures these kind stick together!" another of the tormenters says. The gang laughs and it's a nasty sound. By now, the leader has gotten to his feet again.

"Stay out of this, Hotchner, it's not your concern. Fuck off!"

Hotchner doesn't reply, he merely swings and punches the other boy square in the face, knocking him to the ground. The boy rolls around in pain. Spencer is watching in horrified fascination. He wants to help but knows that he'd only end up causing more problems if he tried. The three other boys surround Hotchner.

"In over your head this time, Captain America!"

"Hey, assholes, you forgot about Blade and Wonder Woman," Spencer turns to see the source of the new voice and sees a well-built black guy and a tall girl, with long dark hair, standing there. They look really pissed off. Before the mean boys can react, Hotch jumps one, Morgan takes the second and Elle is on the third. It isn't long before the ones that were tormenting Spencer take off; they're not badly injured but the other three are obviously better at fighting.

Spencer is in shock; he's never had anyone come to his defence before and certainly not three other students that he barely knows. He's still a little scared when Hotchner comes over and offers him his hand.

"C'mon, Reid, get up," he says and there is a kindness in his brown eyes.

Hesitantly, Spencer takes his hand and is surprised at the surge of warmth that flows through his body at the contact. Dear God, hero-worship already? he wonders. "Um, ah…thank you," he says, head forward, looking from behind his long hair. He glances at the other two. "Thanks…"

"I'm Aaron Hotchner. My friends call me Hotch. That bad ass chick over there is Elle Greenaway and the guy is Derek Morgan," Hotchner says. They both nod and smile at him.

"I'm Spencer Reid."

"Yeah, we know, genius boy," Morgan says with a grin. Elle punches Morgan in the arm, hard. "Ow! What was that for?" he says, frowning at her.

"Don't be a dickhead, Morgan!" she says and then goes over to Spencer. "Are you okay, Spencer?"

He smiles at her, shyly and shrugs. "Yeah, um…yeah. Thanks for…" he trails off, hands waving in the air.

She smiles at him. "Good. Come have lunch with us. Meet the rest of our friends."

"Yeah, Gideon really wants to meet you," Hotchner says and he slings an arm around Spencer's shoulders.

"Gideon?" Spencer asks trying not to get distracted by Hotchner's closeness and the feel of that arm around him, warm and heavy, comforting. The four of them start walking, heading for the quad.

Hotchner smiles and it's bright as the sun breaking through clouds. "Yeah, Jason Gideon. He's one of our friends…sorta like our, leader, I guess. He collects unusual people like other people collect rare coins."

This description intrigues Reid. They meet up with Gideon and the others in the quad.

"Hey, Gideon, look who we found," Morgan says, nodding his head at Reid.

"Ah, Spencer Reid," Gideon says, holding out his hand. "I'm Jason Gideon. Just call me Gideon, though. I'm pleased to meet you."

Spencer isn't sure what to make of the other boy. Gideon is about the same height as Hotchner but he's stockier he's got long hair and his brown eyes are full of welcome and warmth. He shakes Gideon's hand. "Um, it's nice to meet you, Gideon."

Spencer looks at the others. Morgan is talking to a cute blonde girl, she's a little on the heavy side and wearing glasses and she seems to be checking Morgan over for injuries. Spencer blushes when he sees Elle and another blonde girl, this one petite and pretty, kiss.

"You've met Derek and Elle. The girl with Derek is Penelope Garcia, she's our resident techie expert and the other girl, that's JJ Jareau. She's Elle's girlfriend," Gideon says. "Garcia, JJ, come meet Spencer," he says.

The two girls come over and JJ shakes his hand and Garcia gives him a big hug. "Ohmigod, he's like, so cute. Can we keep him?" she says.

Spencer isn't sure what to make of her. But the others laugh and smile, so he figures she's not too much of a threat. Morgan wraps an arm around her, pulling her away from Spencer.

"Don't scare the poor guy away before he gets to know us, Penny," he says, giving her a kiss on the cheek. "God, I need to eat lunch, I'm fucking starving," Morgan says, sitting down without letting go of Garcia.

"Would you join us, Spencer?" Gideon asks, very politely.

Spencer looks at the group of them and nods his head. Then he smiles. "Yeah, I'd…I'd really like that. Thanks."

After that day, Spencer is welcome into their group. It's the first time that he's ever had good friends. And now he had six of them. Sometimes he wonders if it is a dream.

"Spence? You with us?" Hotch is shaking his shoulder. "C'mon the bell rang. Oh are you still coming over to help me with calculus tonight?" He offers a hand to help Spencer stand up.

"Thanks. Yeah. What time do you want me to come over?" Spencer asks, falling into step between Hotch and Gideon.

"Come over for supper. Mom and Dad are out tonight, so Mary will just make us something simple," Hotch replies.

"Okay. Maybe I'll just come over after school? It'd be easier. I know Mom won't mind," Spencer says. He is relieved Hotch's parents will be out. His family is wealthy and usually supper was very formal, making him feel more awkward than usual. With the Hotchners being out, Mary, the cook, will let them eat in the kitchen and Spencer will be much more comfortable.

"Sounds good, Spence," Hotch says.

The group splits up, each of them going to their respective classes. Spencer and Gideon have an English spare and they check in with the teacher before going to sit out in the hallway. Mrs. Chisun is very flexible about spares.

Spencer stares blankly at the book in front of him. He's thinking about something else and it weighs upon him heavily.

"Penny for your thoughts," Gideon says.

Spencer grins. "Not sure they're worth that much."

"They are far more precious," Gideon replies.

Chuckling, Spencer can't look at Gideon. "Can I ask you something?" he's suddenly serious.

"You know that you can ask me anything, Spencer. I'll do my best to answer."

Looking around to make sure there isn't anyone else around, Spencer whispers, "Do you think there's anything wrong with being gay?" He can't bear to look at Gideon when he asks.

Gideon doesn't even look surprised. He reaches over and gently, fingers under Spencer's chin, raises his head. Gideon stares into Spencer's hazel eyes for a few long moments, his brown eyes filled with warmth. "Ah, Hotch," he says, a seeming non sequitur.

Blushing, Spencer lowers his eyes but he doesn't say anything.

"No, there's nothing wrong with being gay, Spencer. There are many people who will tell you that God hates gays, that AIDS is a punishment, stupid shit like that. Don't ever believe it, those people are small minded bigots who wouldn't recognise God's love if He hit them upside the head with a two by four full of it," Gideon says. "And, if you care for Hotch, let him know."

"But…," Spencer wants to deny it, but Gideon is so perceptive it's useless to lie to the other boy. "What if he hates me because …" he trails off, unable to bear the thought of Hotch hating him.

"I've known Hotch since we were kids. Even if he doesn't return your feelings, Spencer, he'd never hate you because you were attracted to him. But you really need to talk to him about this, okay?"

"Do you know if…if he…" Spencer trails off, hand waving in the air.

Gideon gives him a shit-eating grin. "I might know, but you really need to talk to Hotch about it."

Spencer rolls his eyes and is finally able to focus on the book he's supposed to be reading.

Later that evening, Spencer is sitting next to Hotch, watching as the other boy finishes his calculus homework. He seems to have finally caught onto the work in this latest chapter. Spencer is trying to figure out how to ask Hotch what he needs to ask him. He hates not having the experience to know how to do so with subtlety, so he resorts to the same question he asked Gideon earlier. "Hotch, do you think homosexuality is wrong?" Spencer asks.

Hotch raises an eyebrow when he looks at Spencer but he's not overly surprised at the sudden jump from math to sexuality. He's used to Spencer's ability to think about a million different things while appearing focused on one thing. "No, I don't think its wrong or immoral or anything like that," he says, shrugging. "Why?"

When Spencer doesn't reply, Hotch stares at him and realisation dawns. "You're gay?"

Spencer, looking miserable, nods.

"So? There's nothing wrong with it," Hotch says, shrugging. "I'm bisexual."

"You are?" Spencer is taken by surprise. He really wishes Gideon had warned him.

Hotch is amused. "Yes, I am. I've always liked girls and guys," he says. "There's nothing wrong with being gay or bi, you know."

"I know, but I'm still a virgin!"

"You're only 14, Spencer, I would hope—"

Spencer stands up and starts pacing. "No, no, I mean, I've never even been kissed, hell, I've never even had a guy look at me with interest. I just want to know what it's like, to be held, to be kissed."

"You will, someday."

"Hotch, someday is like tomorrow. It never comes!"

Hotch watches Spencer pace back and forth for a few minutes. Then he stands up, moving into Spencer's space. He grabs his shoulders. "Stand still," Hotch says gently, getting his attention. Reid looks up at him from under his dark eyelashes and Hotch can tell he is near to tears. "Close your eyes." When Spencer does so without pausing or questioning, it touches something deep inside Hotch that this boy trusts him so much.

Leaning over, Hotch presses a gentle, chaste kiss to Spencer's lips. He has no plans to do anything more, but then, when Spencer gasps, Hotch finds that he's sliding his tongue into the warmth of Spencer's mouth. Spencer slides his arms around Hotch's neck and starts imitating what Hotch is doing with the kiss.

Hotch moans, his arms wrapping around Spencer's waist and he walks him back toward his bed. The next thing he knows, they're laying across the bed, Spencer's legs spread, Hotch fitting between. When their hard cocks push together, Hotch breaks the kiss, pulling back, staring down at Spencer. "We can't… we shouldn't do this…you're only 14," Hotch protests, trying to catch his breath.

"So?"

"So, I could get in trouble for this, you're too young—"

"Actually, according to the age of consent laws here, if both participants are under the age of 19 and over the age of 13, no one can be charged with anything," Spencer informs him. "I'm 14, you're 17. No problem."

Hotch groans and leans his forehead against Spencer's forehead, closing his eyes. "Sometimes you just know too much," he whispers. And when Spencer hooks a leg over his and when Spencer's mouth presses against his own and when Spencer's tongue licks Hotch's lips, he gives in. A small part of him thinks he shouldn't do this but the rest of him is a horny 17-year-old boy.

They're kissing again and Hotch really is amazed at just how fast a learner Spencer is. Spencer slides his tongue into Hotch's mouth; no hesitation or fear. Hotch is undoing his pants, trying to get them down before starting on Spencer's. He can feel Spencer's hands sliding under his shirt and across his back—his touch is like fire, burning Hotch's skin, searing this into his memory. He gets his own pants pushed down to his knees and he undoes Spencer's jeans, urging the other boy to raise his hips as Hotch pulls both pants and underwear down.

Gently lowering his body on top of Spencer, Hotch reaches a hand between them, grasping both their cocks together and starts moving his hips, thrusting against Spencer. He knows he's not going to last long, not like this, not with Spencer.

Spencer breaks the kiss first, his head tilting back, exposing the long line of his throat. Hotch licks and sucks along the soft skin there, even as his hips push to and fro, sliding his cock against Spencer's. "Aaaron, oh, fuck, ohhh, yeah," Spencer is panting, meaningless words spilling out of his mouth the closer he gets to coming.

Hotch feels Spencer tense underneath him and at that moment, bites the juncture of Spencer's neck and shoulder, making the younger man shout out as he comes, body arching and stiffening even as his cock pulses. Hotch moans against the skin of Spencer's throat, tongue laving the spot he's just bitten. The wet heat of Spencer's come on his cock is enough to push Hotch over the edge and with one final thrust his body stills as his orgasm hits him.

When he's done, Hotch collapses, half onto Spencer, half onto the bed. Spencer still has an arm around him and Hotch slides his arm around Spencer's waist. He lays his head on Spencer's shoulder while they catch their breath. Their legs are still tangled in a mess of denim and cotton; their bellies and dicks are covered with come. After a few minutes, Hotch feels himself starting to drift off and he's pretty sure Spencer is close to sleep too.

He kicks his own pants off and then pulls Spencer's jeans the rest of the way off; Hotch sees no reason they shouldn't be comfortable. Spencer manages to pull his shirt off and throws it on the floor. Hotch takes off his t-shirt, using it to wipe the come off their bodies before tossing it across the room. Lying back down, he wraps an arm around Spencer again when the younger boy cuddles against him. He feels dirty; he's taken advantage of Spencer, he should've been stronger, should've been able to resist doing this with him.

"Stop it," Spencer says sleepily, his breath warm on Hotch's chest.

"What?"

"Feeling guilty," Spencer props himself up on an elbow, staring into Hotch's eyes. "I wanted this as much as you did and I may only be 14 but I am smart enough to know what I want." He leans down, pressing a soft kiss against Hotch's mouth. "And…I want you," he whispers before cuddling against Hotch again.

"Oh, Spencer," Hotch whispers. Something about the other boy makes him feel like he's out of control and as wrong as it might be, Hotch knows he doesn't want to give this up. He forces himself to close his eyes and he falls into an uneasy sleep.

The next morning, Hotch is awake early. When he comes to awareness, he finds that he's curled up behind Spencer, his arms wrapped around him and his dick is hard, pressed against Spencer's ass. It takes all of his willpower, but Hotch rolls over, away from Spencer and climbs out of bed. Going into the bathroom, he takes a shower, jerking off while he's there. He finishes his shower, thinking about Spencer and what, exactly, he's going to do about him. Finally, he comes to a decision, something that he thinks they can both live with.

When he comes out of the bathroom, Hotch gets dressed quickly, sitting on the edge of the bed, before waking Spencer.

"Hotch? What…Oh, it's morning." Spencer frowns when he sees a fully dressed Hotch sitting on the bed beside him. "Hotch?"

Leaning down, Hotch presses a quick kiss to Spencer's mouth, pulling back before the other boy can deepen it. "We need to talk, Spencer. I can't…I just can't have such a physical relationship with you, not as physical as last night," he begins. He presses a finger over Spencer's mouth when he tries to speak; Hotch can see the fear in the younger boy's eyes. "Just listen to me, okay?" When Spencer nods, Hotch continues. "I really like you and I want to be with you. I just feel incredibly guilty about last night. You may be a genius but you're still only 14. The only way I can do this…we can go out, be boyfriends but we can't do anything more physical than kissing and maybe some making out until you turn 16," Hotch looks away. "If you can't agree to that…then I just can't be with you at all, I'm sorry."

Spencer lets out the breath he doesn't realise he's been holding. "You want to go out with me?"

"Yeah, I do. I care about you and I'm attracted to you but it'll have to be like I said." Hotch looks back at him.

Nodding, Spencer smiles. "Then I guess it's going to be a long two years, isn't it? I can't say I'm totally happy with it but if it's the only way…"

"It is," Hotch says, smiling at him before leaning down to give him another quick kiss. "I—thank you, Spence. Now, um, you should probably get up and get ready for school. It's almost 8. Mary will have breakfast ready for us," Hotch says, getting off the bed. "I'll see you downstairs, okay?"

"I'm already 'up'," Spencer says. "Can't you help me with that?"

Hotch laughs. "I'm afraid you'll have to look after that yourself."

Chuckling, Spencer watches Hotch leave the room. He's amazed that things have turned out as they have. He's not entirely pleased about having to wait until he's 16 to do anything more than kiss…but he's come to know Hotch well enough in the past year to know he wouldn't have backed down, regardless of how hard Spencer argued, from what would make Hotch feel comfortable. Spencer is surprised that Hotch actually wants him and is willing to wait for him. Finally getting out of bed, Spencer calculates that there are actually only 18 months until he's 16. He smiles as he walks into the bathroom.

Friday night  
JJ's house

"Look at them," JJ nudges Elle, nodding her head at where Spencer is perched on the arm of the chair Hotch is sitting in.

Elle frowns. "Look at them, what?"

"I think they're together, just look at them," JJ says.

Watching more closely, Elle sees how Hotch has his hand resting lightly at the small of Spencer's back and she can see how intently Hotch is listening to what Spencer is saying. Then, when Hotch is speaking, she stares at Spencer watching Hotch and sees the absolute adoration in his eyes. "Wow, you're right. I'm kinda surprised," she says, wrapping her arms around JJ's waist, leaning her chin on her shoulder.

"What, that Hotch likes guys? I knew—"

"No, I knew that he swung both ways, it's just Reid is so…young. I mean he's a genius but still."

JJ turns around in Elle's arms, wrapping her arms around Elle's neck. "I imagine Spence just looked at him with those big hazel eyes…and quoted the law to him and Hotch was a goner," she says, smiling. "I saw Spence when he was looking up the consent laws."

Elle laughs. "I suppose you're right. I think Hotch is a goner," she says before leaning in to kiss JJ. It starts out gentle, but soon they're making out; tongues sliding together, bodies pressed close, and hands wandering under shirts and jeans.

"Why, ladies, you started the show without me?" Morgan says when he walks by them.

Pulling back from JJ, Elle glares at him, then gives him the finger. "Screw you, Morgan."

"Name the time and name the place, honey, and I am _so_ there," he replies, grinning at her.

"In your dreams is the only place you're getting anywhere near either of us," JJ says, laughing.

"Hey, Penny, get over here! Come get your man under control," Elle calls out to Garcia.

Penny walks over, a beer in each hand. She gives one to Morgan before swatting him on the ass. "C'mon, Sweetcheeks, leave the lesbians alone."

He slides his arm around her shoulders, leaning in to kiss Penny's neck. "Ah, Penny, you know you're all the hotness I can handle," he says.

She laughs and rolls her eyes as they walk over to sit on the couch. "If only you were more action than talk."

An hour or so later and all of them are sitting around, drinking beer, talking. Gideon is quiet. He sips his beer, looking at these people he's collected around himself. Smiling when he looks at where Spencer is now sitting on Hotch's lap, his arm wrapped around Hotch's neck. Aaron's got his arms wrapped around Spencer; Gideon thinks that they'll be good for one another. Yes, Spencer is young in some ways but much more mature in others. He lets his eyes travel across the rest of his friends and sadness overtakes him. There are only a few more months of school left and after that, they'll all be off to college…be spread to the four corners of the earth…and he knows he's going to miss them all. And that they'll all miss each other. He thinks that it's a shame they can't stay together…but Gideon knows that is not the way life works.

 

Three Months Later  
Graduation Day  
The High School at the End of the Universe   
Class of 2006

"Froxnor Zwillgibber of Stengor 4. Our final graduate for 2006 here at The High School at the End of the Universe," Principal Davoor announces from the podium. "Congratulations to you all and may you return where you belong."

There is a brief mortarboard throwing ceremony and suddenly, all of the students disappear in a whoosh. Not a flash really, it's more sound than light.

Spencer Reid is sitting at his desk at the BAU, looking around, confused. He wonders if he's fallen asleep and had some weird dream, but the others are also standing around, looking as confused as Reid feels.

Morgan speaks first. "What in the hell just happened? We…I was just back in high school but all of you were there with me."

The others confirm that they, too, have had the same experience. "Perhaps there was a rift in the time-space continuum?" Spencer suggests. "I know none of us went to high school together…"

"Hello, Mulder. Did you lose Scully somewhere?" Morgan asks rather derisively.

The rest of the group looks at Spencer. "What?" Reid says. "Would you rather it was a shared hallucination?"

"It doesn't really make any difference, does it? We're back here, now," Hotch asks. "I think…I think I'm going to get back to work."

There are murmurs of agreement from the others and each heads back to his or her desk or office.

Douglas Adams once wrote: "I may not have gone where I intended to go, but I think I have ended up where I needed to be."

Spencer leans back in his chair, watching Hotch walk into his office. After a few minutes, he gets up and follows the older man. He thinks that they really need to have a talk.


End file.
